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! karieeee.
10 August 2009 @ 12:55 am

Hopelessly in love; Desperately broken.
! karieeee.
05 May 2009 @ 01:01 pm

Last night; Was the worst night of my life.

Her feelings she hides, her dreams she can't find;
She's losing her mind, she's fallen behind;
And she can't find her place, she's losing her faith;
She's fallen from grace, she's all over the place.

She's lost inside.
Mood: depresseddepressed
Music: Avril Lavigne
! karieeee.

Today is a day for celebrating.

The new breath that you are taking.

A new day with a sweet arise.

Something unseen before your eyes.

Congratulations, for leaving old behind.

You get to be you, but redefined.

Throwing bad memories out.

Let's the good ones come about.

Today is a day for spring cleaning.

For once you found the days meaning.

No more dust to trouble you.

The sheets you slept in are now clean too.

Time to break your old ties.

And forget all the reasons why.

There's no more time to cry.

To all the bad ,

Today is a day to say goodbye.

Mood: cheerfulcheerful
! karieeee.
18 February 2009 @ 09:50 pm
If i ever tell you that i'm truly happy;
Just know i'm lying through my teeth.
The smile I wear, and the laugh that I flaunt,
are hiding much more underneath.

They say, "don't let true love pass you by."
Well hun, i didn't take that advice.
I just stopped fighting. let him walk away.
And left myself to pay the price.

I thought that he'd come back to me,
Like i did for him, time and time again.
But now i have to wake up, face reality,
And realize the it's the end.
I'm done wallowing in this pain.
Comparing ever guy to him.
I need something new, something different.
I need to put myself out on a limb.

I'll let go of him eventually.
But for now i'll just have to cope.
One day i know i'll find someone else. i can't give up.
Because anything is possible as long as you have hope.
Mood: blahblah
Music: Box The Stars
! karieeee.
01 January 2009 @ 04:01 pm

One resolution I have made, and try always to keep, is this: To rise above the little things.

I've decided for this new year, I'm going to change [and I mean it this time] for the better. I've had alot of thinking to do this past year; And I've had alot of people that helped me get to the point of changing. And I know that I'll be able to stick to this resolution, because I know its one that is needed.

-2008; The Bad-

-> The multiple break ups with the same guy that I'm in love with.
-> Drama. Drama. Drama.
-> Losing friends that were once best friends.

-2008; The Good- 
-> Reconnecting with my best friend from middle school<3
-> Losing friends that were taking me down a wrong road.
-> Falling in love all over again with that guy.
-> Becoming more independant.
-2009; The Future-
-> Stay in a relationship with that boy; even when he moves.
-> Get an apartment with my best friend<3
-> Finally get to college for website design.
-> Move up in the ranks at work.
-> Continue to lose weight; to be happy.
-> By the end of 2009/beginning 2010; Move to florida to be the boy<3 [hopefully]
Looking back at all; Like I said, I've had alot of time think; and looking at my plans for 2009, I think I can do them. As long as I keep my mind focused and my goals set; I know I can. I'm still growing emotionally, I've been broken alot in 2008, and I'm finally starting to get better; and I will get better. I'm pretty sure 2008, was the rough patch in my life, and i know 2009 will be the biggest turn around, and I'm hoping people see a difference in things as well.

And of course; Last but certainly not least; I have to say, that I couldn't have done anything without my best friend. She's pretty much the most amazing person & friend I've ever had. We've been friends for almost 7 years [including the 3 year fight we had]. She's always been there for me, through everything, she's basically my twin sister. I do what I can to help her through the rough times, because I know she's strong. I love her to death, and I dont know what I would do if we weren't friends honestly. We're like each others other half, we're on the same brainwave 99.9% of the time, we finish each other sentences...and no matter what happens with us, I know we'll be growing old together, having grey hair with pink coontails, and deformed looking tattoos and piercings. Thats the kind of friend thats always gonna be here to stay with me. I love you. [=


Mood: peacefulpeaceful
! karieeee.
01 January 2009 @ 03:46 pm

It's days like these I wish I could back in time and change things.

Lately, things aren't just going how I think they should be...

- Everyday at work is honestly like walking into hell; About a week or so ago, I was told that some of the girls think that I'm not doing what I'm supposed to be doing supposely...which is the most bullshit I've heard in forever. How I am not doing my job, when I'm working about three to four hours of overtime because some called off, excuse me for bending over fucking backwards to make their lives a little easier.
- I can honestly say I do however love my job; I wouldn't change it. But I really think its a load of bullshit when I'm busting my ass to please everyone in the fucking building; when I know some certain people on the floor do less shit then me, and I'm sure they dont get questioned or interrogated for it; so just because I like to have a good time, and have a little bit of fun while working with my co-workers is such a crime?
- So my one year review is coming up in about two months and I can't wait to hear what these people pull out of their asses...especially when I have a feeling they're gonna say "some girls have been saying" well i may love these girls like family, but they can call me on my shit if they sure as well please.
[end work rant]

- Lately, working twentyfourseven I really haven't had much of a homelife lately...with my mom working from seven am to around eight pm, I dont see her much even though she's working from like five to eight from home. As for my little sister, she's always at my grandmas since I'm working so much. So once in awhile, I would like to go back to before I worked at Kmart where I got to spend time with my family.
- Alot of things in my family are changing, whether its from new relationships or the talk of moving...I dont even know where to begin to wonder which direction my family is headed, or if we're even headed to the same place together...
- Honestly, I want to move out so bad and finally just be on my own while working and going to school; I really want to go to Florida, I always have for awhile now, but the only thing that's honestly stopping me is my family, because I know it'll break my little sisters' heart when i step foot out that door to go a thousand+ miles away, and not come back til holidays, I know her & my mom rely on me so much for all of this. (hopefully this is making sense)
[end home rant]

- So, not alot of people know much about my lovelife really, I'm kind of secretive when it comes to that because its so complicated.
- I've been dating this guy for almost a year & a half; we've been friends for 5+ years; Lately, my heart is being super confused because of this.
- He's getting ready to move back to florida in march, and we had a fight a couple days ago, and he flat out told me that we need a break, because something stupid might happen in florida, which by then I was already heartbroken because he wanted to take a break; which we already took one that only lasted 12 hours because we loved each other so much.
- This boy has my heart completely, and I hate when something comes between to get us to even talk about taking a break. I always end up breaking down/breaking apart because of this. [If this is making any sense?]
[end love rant]

Mood: depresseddepressed
Music: Hawthorne Heights- The Transition